• I spent $412 on supplements after falling down the mum wellness rabbit hole on TikTok late one night

• It started with one video of a glowing woman with quiet kids holding up a bottle of ashwagandha

• From there I bought mushroom coffee, magnesium spray, a seed cycling kit, greens powder, collagen, liquid chlorophyll and a fancy probiotic

• The mushroom coffee tasted like someone boiled a wet log

• The ashwagandha didn't make me calmer — I still lost it before 9am

• The magnesium spray didn't fix my sleep because my sleep problem is a child breathing on my face at 2am

• The greens powder has been in my cupboard for five months and is probably alive

• None of it was sold to me like medicine — it was sold to me like a lifestyle

• The influencer to supplement brand pipeline is real and tired mums are the target

• The FTC and TGA are starting to crack down on brands making health claims they can't back up

• Have we just replaced wine culture with supplement culture and called it self-care?

• What I actually needed was a blood test and a $6 box of iron tablets from the chemist

• My biggest lesson — a discount code is not a diagnosis